so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
