Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I could make wine with my vomit
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
