Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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