So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
