Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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