I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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