What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
