I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
