i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
