yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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