You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
