used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
