i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
