You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Randomize
