Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
