Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
