There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
