I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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