Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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