Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
