hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
