Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
false alarm. still invincible.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
