I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
