i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
