i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
