If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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