is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I deserve this hangover.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize