so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize