You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
