girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize