Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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