so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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