We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
