I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
sex in a hospital.. check
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
