There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
