Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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