so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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