so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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