i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
