Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Fuck appropriateness.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
