Where did you get a picture of my penis
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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