I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
