Kiss
Puke
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
