Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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