She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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