I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
