I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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