Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
