we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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