I cockslap morals
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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