you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
