Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize