I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
